you just never know....

people pass you and smile. they greet you with the classic church facade of fellowship. it's not real. it's just that... a facade. just below the surface is the most intense storm of their life. but they don't want to tell you. i didn't. it's just easier to pass people in the hall and smile with a quick little, "how are you?" "fine. how are you?" you just don't know the struggles in their lives. and honestly, i don't want to know. i don't want to have someone just dump their baggage on me in the hall while i'm trying to nab my kid from nursery. i don't want to hear a complete stranger empty out their woes on me ... only to walk away thinking, "man, what is her name???" but when you do get to know someone, why is it that so much time can go by before we really start to share our burdens with each other? our struggles? the sin that easily traps us? Galatians 6 tells us to bear each other's burdens. i'm pretty sure checking a passing friend's level of "fine" doesn't qualify.

i was reading a blog ....someone i've known for a few years now.... and just now found out she's lost two babies. now, i'd say we're acquaintances. we're not bff's, but still...she's a great gal that i have always enjoyed spending time with and i never even listened long enough to find out the struggle she went through. the loss she suffered. the hurt that has to heal. another friend stopped by today.....struggles overflowing right now....she's really in the middle of it. how can i encourage her? God has just brought us through one of the toughest years of our lives....and we're not out of the tunnel yet, but i can see the light and this time i'm 99% sure it's not the train. :) in our sunday school class....errr...sorry, *ahem* adult bible fellowship.... we're grown-ups now....we've been talking about confrontation. bottom line, you have to get past the "how are you?....fine...." stage of your friendships before you can see what's really happening in your friend's world.

the more i find out about how God expects us to live the christian life, the more i realize just how much work it is. building relationships takes time. it takes work. you have to be busy in order to connect with people. you have to be purposeful. you can't just "fine" your way out of it. and frankly, it's a two-way street. you have to be willing to let down your pride and talk to your friends about your struggles. stop glossing over your life with a fake plastic smile and be real enough to tell your friends your struggles. *note: i believe you should keep your real smile on. the one the Holy Spirit gives you. your joy. the one you give to random people. the one that says, "hey, i'm in the middle of some serious mud, but the devil cannot take my joy. i have eternal hope that outlasts the struggles of this life."* but when your with your friends, ask for help. ask for prayer. prayer is a powerful and amazing thing.

i guess my challenge to myself is this: stop complaining about the little things. look up. look above your problems and see how you can encourage someone else. listen. listen with the intent to hear and remember. pour out your heart to God. ask Him to help you learn from your struggles. ask Him to stretch your friend and encourage her. b/c really, He is the only One able to do anything about it.