gimme a break

does that phrase make you want a kit kat?

i took a break last night. it was glorious. well, it started out rocky and then it was glorious. this sick bug is really taking it's toll on me... mentally. we haven't done any of our normal "get out and about" stuff in a couple weeks. even my meijers trip was a dazed and confused solo trip. we've been stuck at home. the kids are driving me crazy. all i'm doing is washing sheets, wiping noses, and breaking up fights. that, combined with crazy reactions to meds, was starting to worry me. i'm serious when i say, chemicals are CUH-RAZY! i am SO so SO so THANKFUL that we have healthy bodies and no serious long term medical conditions requiring mind altering medications. and in the future, when i am prescribed said mind altering meds i will most definitely be asking more questions and doing more research before swallowing anything. they're gonna have to pin me to a table and stab me with a syringe. when we went to the urgent care the doc prescribed a cough medicine as well as a steroid for my lungs. yes, it helped with my symptoms.... though not entirely. but i haven't been myself for well over a week. food tasted weird, so i had no appetite. that just plain ticked me off b/c i enjoy eating. not gonna lie. i was in a droopy mood. i was snappy. i was tired (more than normal from our nighttime parties in meg's room). i felt dizzy. i couldn't focus. visually or mentally. i'm tellin' ya, it was WEIRD. i just kept praying that God would help me focus on taking care of my kids. i tried praying for other people that i knew were having rough weeks (around here there have been lots of hurting families lately, so there was no shortage there). i tried to focus on the absolutely gorgeous weather we were having. i took connor on a couple short walks and let him play in the front yard for a bit. nothing was working. i was stuck in a gunk mood. i even stopped taking the medication before my script ran out. i would rather wheeze than feel like i had been feeling.

so last night nathan's vball team was getting together for a little dinner and he knew i had been going crazy, so he said, "why don't i take connor." i thought that would be a great idea. then i would just chill with meg... at home... doing our normal routine... so about five minutes later i sent him a text to see if he would take both kids. i knew that would be asking a lot. he said no problem, and i started planning. i just wanted to go out. no plans. no real agenda. just wanted to get lost in the crowd for a while. i thought a dinner at the food court and a pretzel sounded fun. but the good food courts are either farther than i wanted to drive or at malls i don't visit alone in the dark. so i settled for the closer cheesier mall b/c the pretzel sounded so delightful. i got there and started slowly wandering. i walked into bath and body works.... mistake..... i started wheezing instantly. it seems a lot smellier when your lungs are incapacitated. i wandered through pennys, hit macy's.... the mens' section proved to be too strongly scented for my lungs. i got my pretzel and sat on a bench watching people for a while. it was all fine and relaxing in it's own way, but it wasn't lifting my spirits as i had hoped. and it was only 6:30. i told nathan i wasn't coming home until the kids were in bed. :)

i decided to grab a taco and hit target. that always helps. i had to drive past my house on the way to target, and i remembered that my mom was going to be at my sister's babysitting. i haven't seen her in a while, so i thought i'd just stop in and say hi. this turned out to be just the right medicine. i love hanging out with my mom. i've always been able to hang out with her. even when i was in high school. she would take me and my girlfriends everywhere. we would even tp and she would drive the get-away car. i have learned .... in my old age.... the extent to which i can be grateful for having a good relationship with a godly mother.

when i got there she was popping in meet me in st. louis for the girls. i seriously wasn't planning on staying, but i ended up going to get my tacos and coming right back to hang with them. the girls were just cute and funny eating popcorn and telling me how pretty the dresses on the movie were. made me look forward to watching those classics with meg. liela kept holding up popcorn and asking me, "ith thith one cheeeeeth?" that was hilarious. ava had a stamper from her happy meal.... my hands are still green. by 8:30 i felt so much better. i was just refreshed, ya know? that feeling of "ugh" was finally gone. i knew i could go home and get back to taking care of my kiddies without being afraid of what i might say or do that would cause them permanent damage.

so now, we're just hanging out. still in our jammies. still slightly sick, but in way better spirits. maybe we'll go to target. maybe i'll iron.... nah! hahahaha! see? told you i was feeling better.

before i forget.... here's a gem that connor whipped out yesterday. on thursday i was trying to make myself look human again so i waxed my eyebrows. of course, connor wanted to know exactly what i was doing and why. then yesterday he was helping meg feed one of her babies. it was one of those with the creepy eyes that open and close. he lays the doll in his lap, flicks it's eyes, and then looks at me and says, "i think we need to wax her eyebrows."